Safety Dance in the Twilight Zone

The last couple of days, I have had the song “Safety Dance” in my head. Of course you know what song I am talking about. “S-A-F-E-T-Y” Dance, the 80s, Men Without Hats, MTV! Yeps, everyone knows that song, right?

Well, apparently not.

So I had come up with this little fantasy parody of the Men Without Hats song with a bunch of weirdos dancing around a huge FON WiFI router and singing “You can share if you want . . . and if your friends don’t share, then they’re no friends of mine.” Yep, it would be a funny FON spoof video to the 80s classic (at least for me).

But when I brought this idea up amongst six co-workers in the Marketing Department, not a single one of them had ever heard of the song. I then showed them the video on YouTube, but still no reaction from them.

“Come on, this is an MTV classic!” I cried, “This Song defined the 80s.”

All I got in response were five blank faces and one person who reminded me that our users weren’t watching MTV in the early 80s. They probably weren’t even born yet. Even so, shouldn’t everyone over the age of 25 at least have heard the song before? Was I that old? Or was it all a bad dream? Where am I?

Before I started to doubt the mere existence of “Safety Dance”, Dixie and the Midnight Runners, The Human League, and a host of other 80s bands, I decided to turn to the Bearded Canadian.

Generally, my brother sends me some funny clip from the States, I laugh hysterically, and then roam the office trying to find someone to share the humor with. Before the Bearded Canadian worked with us, I was generally relegated to laughing in solitude like some paranoid psycho. Visitors would come to the office and find me rocking back and forth giggling in the corner. My co-workers would say, “Don’t worry, he’s American”.

It was like the time that my uncle Randy sent me an email asking me if Ali G and Borat were popular in Spain. I had been in Spain for six years at the time and had never bothered to even look into Ali G. His jokes don’t translate, and I don’t have any English speaking TV channels. So, I decided to look him up on YouTube. I spent the following week obsessed with Ali G, walking around the face like a lunatic saying things like “Respek” and “Ah-ight” while everyone around me hushed under their breath, “American”.

In any event, I finally found the Bearded Canadian who was shocked that no one in the Marketing Department had ever heard “Safety Dance”. He said, “Come on! Even Weird Al did a parody of that video” to which I had to remind him that no one in this office even knew who Weird Al was.

The positive outcome of this story is that I am not going crazy(ier), I am not in the Twilight Zone, and it was not all a bad New Wave 1980s dream. I simply live in a foreign country where everyone is a foreigner. It’s like living in the Twilight Zone, where the only people who understand you are Canadians.


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