The U.S.: Love It or Leave It

Robin Williams.jpg

I received an email with this Robin Williams monologue about how the U.S. should deal with peace in the world by essentially telling the world to screw off and shutting U.S. borders. Of course, it is tounge-and-cheek, and I have not verified whether it is really attributable to Williams. Nevertheless, I think his argument is rather infantile and simplistic. It is the typical “if you don’t like it, then leave” response you get in every wealthy country around the world when someone complains.

So basically he argues that if foreigners complain about U.S. foreign policy, then the U.S. should stop doing all of those things that actually have a great benefit to the world. As I have said, this is rather silly. It is like an abusive father saying that if you don’t like the way he treats you, then you should support yourself; or an abusive boss who tells you that if you don’t like it, then get a different job. The U.S. needs to stop living in the past, for example, by saying that Europeans should thank us for World War II. Just because we do or did some good, doesn’t mean that we have carte blanche. I know you should not bite the hand that feeds you, but just because you give out a few small hand-outs, doesn’t mean that you are free from criticism.
In any event, here is Robin Williams:

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here’s one plan.

  1. The US will apologize to the world for our “interference” in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those “good ‘ole’ boys”, we will never “interfere” again.
  2. We will withdraw our tro ops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
  3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They’re illegal!!! France will welcome them.
  4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide her e. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
  5. No foreign “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a “D” and it’s back home baby.
  6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
  7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
  8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrop he in the world, we will not “interfere.” They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
  9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
  10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us “Ugly Americans” any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH…learn it…or LEAVE…Now, isn’t that a winner of a plan?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.” She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘you want a piece of me?'”


Filed under Essays

13 responses to “The U.S.: Love It or Leave It

  1. No, this is not Robin Williams work, it is an internet ‘hoax’, a bit of liberty taken by someone unknown, using Williams name and notoriety in absentia.

    I think though, if you care to continue the subject, that you have slighted the U.S.’s generosity ~ we have given more than ‘a little’. In the monetary respect, we spend more on the national defense of a number of other nations’ national defense than they do, and this hasn’t been one time payments, it is a yearly “gift” ~ examples include Germany, Japan, and Israel.

    On the humanity side, the U.S., bar none, gives more of our tax payer money to help those in foreign countries than all other nations combined ~ and we receive nothing but criticism and hatred for the efforts.

    Personally, I think neo-isolationism is the perfect answer. Remove all of our troops from across the world, stop paying everyone else’s bills and giving them hand outs ~ then when it all comes crashing down around their ears, which it most certainly would ~ flip them the bird and give them a nice warm
    American “I told you so”.

    Charity starts at home ~ but no one cares to clean up their own backyard any longer, because then you can’t play the hero.

  2. eric


    My bro is going to have a field day with your comment. Ha Ha. I can’t wait! You pushed all of his buttons at once.

    I would say a couple of things, though. First, the US actually is not in the list of highest aid donor countries in per capita terms. That is kind of easy to imagine because we are a big country, but we are generally not one of the most generous nations — countries like The Netherlands beat us quite easily.

    Also, we are actually one of the most criticized nations around the world precisely for being have the largest military budget in the world in both real and per capita terms. That is not necessarily something to be proud of. My argument generally in support of the US military budget, at least to Europeans, is that we assume such a high cost because they won’t and it also benefits them.

    Finally, the reason we open our doors, let things in, and send money out is for the most basic of economic reasons. We need to trade with the world. We need people to sell our products to, we need people to buy our products, and we need people to make our products. Otherwise, the costs would go through the roof and we’d be just as poor as North Korea. Imagine how much more expensive everything would be if they were all 100% home grown. That makes for some very expensive cars, soda, and clothes!

  3. TheCommentKiller

    I couldn’t imagine Robin Williams writing something like that. He is a nut, but i think he is one of those lefty celebrity types.

    I am sure you guys are tired of me talking shit about corporations, but they say repetitive is the best form.

    US foreign policy (which includes US military policy and defense budget) is based on nothing more than US corporate interests. This is nothing new and nothing unique to the US. The US just happens to be the largest power and thus the most egregious in this respect. So in order for corporations to expand (neo-imperialism) they need protection… during the cold war it was in the name of anti-communism and the fear of the domino effect… now it is in the name of anti-terrorism and they are using the same domino parlance. And it is all the same players too.

    I would actually love (and i think the rest of the world would too) if the US (and their corporations) took a more isolationist stance.

    US leaders are currently debating immigration policy in this country, but they have failed to even see the real issue, namely US trade policies (such as NAFTA) and other foreign policies, particularly in central America and the result that they have had on immigration. NAFTA, for instance, has put Mexican farmers out of business by making US argo-products (such as corn) cheaper in the Mexican markets, so what do the farmers do- they come to the US. Moreover, when economically desperate people consider their options they do not consider the potential legal ramifications for coming to the US… it is not like they go onto Lexis-Nexus and read up the current immigration laws. What they think about is how to put food on their families tables (just like our great grandparents who came to this country). So creating higher walls and/or fences isn’t going to keep people out of this country; nor is stricter laws (plus the INS does not have the manpower to enforce such laws). If US wants to get tough on immigration they need to reconsider their foreign policy, particularly with regards to trade. The demand done, particularly in central america, during the cold war by the CIA, is going to have long-lasting effects on immigration in the US. The US, in the name of anti-communism, overthrew basically every central american gov’t (and many south american gov’t) in an effort to get US corporate control of all marketable or potentially marketable natural resources to the determent of the local populations.

    And no “hand-out” or charity is going to make up for that. So i would be in favor of the US isolationism in the world, if it means that they take their corporations w/ them.

    Anyone that thinks that the US is truly in the business of spreading democracy or freedom is short-sighted. If the US had even a seed of altruistism in their foreign policy- they would have gone to Darfur, instead of Iraq and they would have gotten involved in Rwanda. And what about North Korea… I predict that 5 years from now (10 at the most) when the US “learns” about the concentration camps in N.Korea they will say, “only if we had known.” The truth is that China does not want N.Korea being liberated b/c there will be a N.Korean mass exodus to China.

    Although, i have called out the US, i only do that now b/c the US is the current super power, but the Europeans are equally guilty for the same/similar reasons.

    Anyway, God bless America- lord knows they will need his blessing.

  4. Just a couple of quick things, because this argument will go nowhere at all:

    Per capita is BS, we give more actual money than any other nation anywhere … period. How much that amounts to, per census tracked individual, is as relevant as the money debt to body odor ratio.

    Two ~ what does trade and trade policy have to do with our tax payer money going to countries that despise us, disrespect us, and still use OUR money to defend THEIR country ~ Hello? Earth to Major Tom? Put the bong down please?

    Three ~ can someone please pass me the handbook that says because we know how to do things to make money, we now OWE it to the rest of the world to let them have it? Why is it our responsibility to do what other countries won’t do? I’m sorry, I never agreed to any caretaker legislation. Or how about all the people IN AMERICA who can’t get a fair shake or a meal or or or or or or or or or or or or?

    FTLOF, Albert Camus? Logic? Validity? Reasonability? Shove it Wittgenstein, you and your stupid tautological representations of valid arguments.

    Did he just use the word ‘altruism’ in a serious context? ::shudder:: Oh look, now I can see what I had for breakfast, again, thanks, spot on, well struck, give me more.

    I think I’d rather discuss bludgeoning defenseless baby seals for their pelts, rather than this topic. Or maybe midget flambé? I hope some salt falls in my eyes soon, it would be less painful.

  5. eric

    I guess then you we’d have to calculate the absolute total of aid from all of the EU countries (by adding up each individual country’s aid + official EU aid) to make a just comparison. The EU and the US have roughly the same population.

  6. TheCommentKiller

    I guess my post was either too complex or not clear.

    I will try to clarify. If the US does not change its foreign policy, particularly w/ regards to trade… they will continue to have immigration problems, increased international (and domestic in the 9/11 sense) upheaval and of course the environmental consequences of unsustainable globalization and consumerism. All of these, directly will increase the amount of money coming from taxpayers paychecks.

    It is not about being a caretaker or world police- it is quite the opposite. It is about sound, sustainable, and smart foreign and domestic policy.

  7. eric

    Don’t worry, guys, the US is already isolating itself both through various economic and foreign policies and the short sighted practices of its companies.

    Come to Europe and you will see how the US is losing market share, competitiveness, and its technological “supremacy”. The US is falling behind big time. In Europe, the cars are more energy-efficient, Internet is faster, and mobile phones are more advanced. No one respects the US anymore or even looks up to it. Things are only cheaper in the US because the US dollar is weak against the Euro. Even the US dollar is at risk of losing its supremacy. Just wait until the oil producers start selling oil in Euros, that’s when the US will really start bombing. And why? Because the American way of life is based on consumption, big cars, and lots of driving.

    So, yes, let’s be more isolationist and in 20 to 30 years, the US will be the third world country.

  8. Eric, please do that if at all possible, because I would most certainly like to see it. Especially considering the number of EU countries who have money to give aid because of our deep pockets for their defense budgets.

    CK, ?

    Immigration entered the conversation where? Our government isn’t currently debating anything concerning immigration; the entirety of the changes affect sec. 113, “Alien Nationals of Non-contiguous countries” ~ it’s called BUUULLLLSSSHHH, yeah, you know.

    NAFTA is the cause of job loss here, it was bad policy when that drooling mongoloid Clinton had it drafted, and it only gets worse.

    No Empire can be sustained, that’s just a complete fallacy. Ask Titus Livius or Niccolo Machiavelli, they were both very erudite and verbose about the eventuality. Then again, Alexander Fraser Tyler had one of the most memorable passages on that obvious fact.

    Fallacy: sustainable. That which rises, will yet fall again. Hopefully, the next owners of the country have something similar to Napster, I would miss that, I might even have to openly revolt, or kick a fluffy bunny across a yard even.

  9. TheCommentKiller

    I think Eric’s guess is correct, although i am no math genius. The US only contributes 3% to the total international aid, whereas when you combine all of the European countries they account for at least 50% of the rest.

    The Tsunami relief effort (here comes jame’s lunch) the US’s contribution didn’t even outmatch that of Britain.

    I think Eric’s latest post is correct and fun prediction, but it will be interesting to see how the US disease of Affluenza (mass consumption) plays a part in all of this. In order for the rest of the world to succeed they need someone to sell all of their crap to- and I am not sure that Europe can do it alone, but maybe w/ emergence of Asia they will not need to rely on the US cracked out consumers. e

    Even many lefty’s in the US disregard all of their preaching of a sustainable future, when it comes time to find a long-term place to live… and once they have purchased a home they have begun an unstoppable cycle of consumption.

    anyway. I recommend you go back to your sex blogs- seems more people are interested in that.

  10. TheCommentKiller

    below are much better stats on foreign aid.

    and of course, US foreign aid accounts for less than 1% of the total budget.

    and as far as immigration goes, i am no news junkie, but i did read that the Senate passed an amendment today on immigration and immigration talks have been ongoing and in the media for a quite awhile. I am guessing that nothing will be passed until after the 2008 presidential election, which is yet another drawback of the primary campaigns beginning so early.

  11. I want actual monies contributed, not speculative analysis predicated upon census, per capita, percentages.

    Money ~ how many millions/billions do we donate vs. how many millions/billions the EU donates.

    Why should we have donated to the Tsunami? Where is the founding impetus? We can’t take care of our own here, yet we are the “demon scourge of the world” if we don’t hand out to every nation with a beef or, oh God, say it isn’t so … natural occurrence!!! **sniff**

    Welcome to real violence, the chaos and disorder of a closed system seeking equilibrium … OH NOES .. I want to take my internets and go home … someone pass me a stuffed animal, turn on the Pearl Jam and hand over a Prozac cocktail, with an umbrella please. Have to have the umbrella, or I just can’t reach closure.

  12. DEFINITION: The net official development assistance (ODA) from Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) nations to developing countries and multilateral organizations. ODA is defined as financial assistance that is concessional in character, has the main objective to promote economic development and welfare of the less developed countries (LDCs), and contains a grant element of at least 25%. The entry does not cover other official flows (OOF) or private flows.

    Allow me to retort:

    1. Economic development funds.
    2. Partial statistic as shown by the absence of numbers regarding OOF and private flows.
    3. This is not freely given aid, this is utter bullshit “globalisation” policy forced “donations”.

    Lies, damn lies and statistics, and has nothing to do with all monies the U.S. gives, (donations, reliefs, recoveries, education, medicine, food), for pulling other countries asses out of the fire, for whatever reason, year after year after year.

    So seeing as the conversation started out in a generic format of “US is the least aid donator of any country” … what relevance do these statistics have within that linguistic framework?

    We’ll say, 15% relevance, because 85% of all statistics are made up.

    Jebus save me, or better yet, club me into cerebral submission and pluck out my eyes and use them as rearview mirror ornaments in your ghetto fabulous pimpin’ ride.

    Were our grandfather still alive, you would be seeing what he had for breakfast right now. Rest in peace Charles Rudolph, the mold they used for you was a one shot deal, no other like you will ever be seen again on the mortal plane.

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