I have recently noticed that the number of visits to Grave Error have diminished over the past two months. One option to increase visits may be to improve the quality and interest of the posts that I publish. But this option seems like a lot of effort without necessarily ensuring the desired result. Another option is to start writing about sex or introducing lewd terminology that is often searched for by “curious” Internet surfers. So, let’s begin with a simple reflection after reading Savage Love. Those easily scandalized should read a different post!
Every Wednesday, I read the latest edition of Savage Love, an Anne Landers-like advice column written by Dan Savage. This advice column is “different” in that it covers relationship questions that deal with advice-seekers’ sexual issues (of all sexual persuasions). I don’t read the column because of any special deviance on my part, but because I think that Savage gives very interesting advice and, contrary to what one might believe from a column of this nature, I am always impressed about the accuracy (and consistency) of the advice he gives.
In any event, today I read the advice he gave to a guy who complained about having problems finding women to “peg” him. “Pegging” is apparently the act of a woman using a dildo on a willing male partner (an act that is not part of my repertoire, so no funny ideas out there). Here is the question and Savage’s answer:
Q: It’s impossible to find a woman to peg me! I’ve posted many personal ads, but the masses find even the most innocuous fetish disgusting. What is a man who longs to be sensually ravaged in the ass by a woman to do? The thought of a woman taking delight in the rich senses of my ass overwhelms me. I like voluptuous, dark-haired women, though I’m open to anything at this point. Hell, it could even be with a lesbian or a bunch of lesbians.
Signed: Man with Hungry Rectum
A: Let me see if I follow you, MWHR: Unable to find a straight woman to ravage your ass, you’ve concluded that it would increase your odds of getting pegged if you offered your ass to a lesbian—or a bunch of lesbians—because if there’s one thing we know about lesbians, it’s that they delight in the rich senses of a man’s ass. It’s really what lesbianism is all about.
Look, dumbfuck, if you’re having a hard time finding someone to peg your ass, it’s because you come across like a desperate, disrespectful, delusional creep, and not because no women are interested in pegging. As HIND [in reference to another advice seeker] can attest, some women are interested in little else.
I particularly enjoyed Savage’s response. Why? Because I have never quite understood men’s fascination with having sexual relations with Lesbians. Not because there is anything wrong with lesbianism, but because Lesbians, by definition, are not interested in having sex with men. It is barking up the wrong tree.
As a matter of fact, I have written a first draft of the initial chapters of story entitled “My Year as a Lesbian” (lost somewhere in my closet, no pun intended). I know that the whole Chasing Amy thing has already been done before, and even my favorite author, Haruki Murakami, has touched on the subject in his wonderful novel Sputnik Sweetheart. But, my story is different. It is about how people lose perspective in their lives over time as they grow older and actually doesn’t have anything to do with Lesbians at all. Well, except for the fact that their loss of perspective is as absurd as is a man who actively pursues Lesbians, for the reasons mentioned above.