A Scottish friend just sent me an email asking why all of his American friends are so pro-Obama and why he doesn’t know any Republicans. Surely there must be some Republicans, he inquires. After thinking about, I came up with the following explanation:
I know plenty of Republicans, but they’re all in the States. In Europe, Americans won’t admit that they’re Republicans because ever since Bush took office, an American can’t get laid abroad. We have been relegated to pretending we are Canadians to get a “yes”. Now, change is in the air. There is a window of opportunity — it’s what I call the Obama Card. You tell the señoritas that you’re pro-Obama, and you can start believing in change. Yes we can!
As a matter of fact, the entire American ex-pat community’s support for Obama — he did win the Democrats Abroad primary — may be based solely on an eight year dry spell. Yes we can!
Grave Error 
If I have to pretend to be Canadian to get a shot at an enjoyable mounting sequence, I’d rather just go Costanza:
“I’ve got hand baby! I’ve got hand and I’m not afraid to use it!”