I just saw a new Facebook group called, “You know you’ve lived in Spain when . . .” that was kind of stupid, but did include some things that I thought were pretty on point. Here are the fairly accurate ones:
- You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is perfectly acceptable. Especially at lunch time.
- You can’t get over how early bars & clubs shut back home – surely they’re shutting just as you should be going out?
- You aren’t just surprised that the plumber/decorator has turned up on time, you’re surprised he turned up at all.
- You’re shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun – surely they should wait until at least late June?
- On msn you sometimes type ‘jajaja’ instead of ‘hahaha’
- You think the precious aceite is a vital part of every meal. And don’t understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.
- You’re amazed when TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.
- You forget to say please when asking for things – you implied it in your tone of voice, right?
- You know what a pijo is and how to spot one.
- Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: ‘bueno,’ ‘coño,’ ‘vale,’ ‘venga,’ ‘pues nada’…
- You know what ‘resaca’ means. And you probably had one at least once a week when you lived in Spain.
- You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.
- You know that after 2pm there’s no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.
- You don’t accept beer that’s anything less than ice-cold.
- You know Bimbo isn’t a slutty woman, it’s a make of ‘pan de molde’ (which, incidentally, isn’t mouldy)
- The sound of mopeds in the background is the soundtrack to your life.
- You know that the mullet didn’t just happen in the 80s. It is alive and well in Spain.
- You don’t see anything wrong with having a couple of beers before lunch if you feel like it.
- Floors in certain bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a bin?!
- You know ensaladilla rusa has nothing to do with Russia.
- You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion…
- You know that ‘ahora’ doesn’t really mean now. Hasta ahora, ahora vuelvo…etc
- Aceite de oliva is ‘muy sano’, of course. So you help yourself to a bit more.
- When women think that clear bra straps are in fact invisible.
- When you add ‘super’ in front of any adjective for emphasis
- When you accept that paying with a 50 euro note is going to get you a dirty look if you’re buying something that costs less than 40 euros
- You can eat up to 5 times a day – first breakfast, 2nd breakfast around 11.30, almuerzo, merienda, cena
- If you see someone wearing a T-shirt with something written on it in English, you can almost guarantee it won’t make sense.
- Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?
- You answer the phone by saying ‘Yes’, and when identifying yourself you say ‘I’m…’ not ‘It’s…’. But when you try those tactics back home, everyone thinks you’re mad or rude!
Grave Error 